Monday, January 19, 2009

Old People Hate Everything and Everyone Younger Than Them

How true is this? Everyone has a crazy old neighbor lady with a cane that takes great joy in running over their childhood toys. Everyone. Even if you don't have any neighbors because you live in an isolated region of the Tibetan Plateau, you will be haunted by a widowed old woman. I think it is the curse of children. Why does this matter? Because old ladies, being older than the average Giant Redwood, are older than everyone around them. Thus, they have had years to build up disgust towards the younger generations. Hey now, that's not fair. Isn't it though? How many times have you heard something to the effect of "Kids aren't what they used to be," "When I was a kid, I walked forty two thousand miles to school uphill both ways in eighteen feet of snow," or "Those obnoxious children, what are they thinking? I most certainly would never have done that as a child." Everyone hears it, and as you will find, everyone says it as well. I say it, so I guess I must be getting old. These sentiments are refracted throughout all parts of society.

Lets take music for an example. People always look back towards old classics and take refuge in their wholesomeness. Who looks to Britney Spears as a classic? Or Miley Cyrus? You don't see fifty year old women rocking out to "7 Things (I hate about you)" as they drive around do you? Of course you don't, that would be silly. If something becomes popular after your time, you think it is preposterous and should not be allowed.

Same goes with behavior. As an eighth grader, it was perfectly okay to see other eighth graders kissing in the hallway. As a much older and more educated person, I can now see that really, anything below my grade, 11th, is much too young to be engaging in such inappropriate activities. Only somebody with my intelligence and maturity could cope with such things. As we grow up we all modify our views of the world to encompass our age. Things below us are bad, scandalous, and should be treated as such. It's no wonder old ladies seem to hate everything around them and take such pleasure it yelling at small boys and girls as they turn one blade of grass in their perfectly angular yards.